"For no obvious reason this morning, I was feeling anxious and depressed. I looked at it and realized that the false belief creating all this was that I have to be perfect in order for me to allow myself to feel happiness. Yet, there are so many conditions for me to be perfect that it is almost impossible to achieve. Still, I have driven myself to be "perfect" sometimes and discovered it that the ensuing happiness lasts about two seconds and I am exhausted."
"Lately, procrastination is somehow wrapped up in this conundrum too. Maybe I don't even try things because I know if it's not done perfectly I won't value it anyway. Most of my life, my critically inspired drive propelled me to achieve some amazing things (including opening my own business). Somehow, I feel that if I don't criticize and punish myself then I'll never go anywhere or do anything. Yet the truth is, right now, I'm not really productive. There must be another way!"
Table Of Contents
Form of control
The need for perfection is a form of control. The wounded, critical part of us believes that, "If I am perfect (whatever that means!) then people will like me, love me, admire me, approve of me, pay attention to me, or validate me. Then I will feel worthy. I can control how people feel about me by being perfect." the need to control how people feel about us comes from making others responsible for defining our importance / worth to them. The false belief is that if someone likes you, you 're worthy, and then you can be happy. Yet, as she said, "the ensuing happiness last about two seconds and I am exhausted." It's hard to try to be perfect and the good feelings are very short-lived.Leads to procrastination
In addition , having to be perfect to obtain approval often leads to procrastination. If you are not perfect, the fear of disapproval and failure can be so strong that it prevents you from taking the necessary actions. Judging yourself to do things "perfectly" often backfires, leading to paralysis instead of creativity and productivity as it does with her.She says that, "There must be another way!" In fact, there's a different way-a much better way.
Define your own worth
You will no longer worry about what other people think and feel about you, if you choose to define your own worth instead of handing over this crucial responsibility to others. The problem is that most of us, our parents and other adults, have defined our worth when we are young. Of course, we saw adults as having the power to do that. As we grew older, we gave our peers the power to define ourselves. But somehow, we need to shift from another to our own higher, wise selves or spiritual guidance with the authority to define our own worth.The core qualities matters
We must also move from defining our worth based on the external qualities to our value based on the inner qualities of the soul. You will worry about results as long as your worth is based on performance. But if your value is based on the inner qualities of care , compassion, goodness, empathy and happiness, then your performance is never in line compared to them.Listen to your heart
When you open yourself to learning about your true, intrinsic worth with a higher authority and embrace the beauty and wonder of your beautiful essence, you stop thinking about perfection, and you stop thinking about performance and what others think about you. You should know that in your heart you are already "Perfect," and there is nothing to prove.Life is so much simpler and less tiring when you realize your worth as inherent rather than dependent on your success. Instead of your immobilizing addiction to perfection, you are free to express yourself fully and manifest your gifts and talents. It is enjoyable to express yourself creatively and productively rather than being afraid!
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